I'm going to rape someone's good day.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm both gender and math confused
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
