I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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