Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
