I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Randomize
