dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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