He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
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