I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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