im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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