i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Life is so much better after having sex.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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