Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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