Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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