Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
