Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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