well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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