So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
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