I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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