That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
