We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
