My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize