I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
