Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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