How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize