Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
