none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
You can't special order awesome
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
