I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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