his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Actions speak louder than pants.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
