Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
