i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
not ubering you a puppy
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
