woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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