You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
She even gives head with a lisp.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
