Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Randomize