She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Watching her eat just hurts me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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