dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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