Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
