I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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