Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Randomize
