It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
