No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
