Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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