If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
