Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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