I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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