there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
