So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize