OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It's official drugs can't kill me
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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