Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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