i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
