I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Randomize
