I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
