My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
