I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
