you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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