Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
