I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Someone signed my nipple.
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