all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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