Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize