hell yes lets make some ravioli
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
