I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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