i just wanna soil my oats bro
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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