I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Panties = found
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
