He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
