i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
