the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
