woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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