Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
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