so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize