Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Randomize