I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
