well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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