I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
