we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
