im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Randomize
