Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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