i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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