omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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