do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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