In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
