Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I love having hate sex.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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