My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
